magar tumhare baalon ko sahi poshan kaise milega?

i'm 32. married. no kids. healthy apetite. good bowel movement. decent looking. socially acceptable. occasional gas problem. sleep well. don't sleep around. like food. over eat most of the times. passionate about all of the above ( except the gas ofcourse).
there i've given you a fair idea of me as a person. i should have a lotta friends right?
well i don't!
i mean i do have like 4 really good friends. maybe 5. or 7.
(yes you were an after thought. ) (but you were there in my list!) (you really should'nt be feeling happy about making it to this list.....even indion idol rejects have a shot at being my friends) (or the cast and crew of uttaran!)
but you know like these are my friends since the days when they din't have much of a choice but to befriend me. like in school and stuff where you feel lost if you don't have anyone to hang around with. it's like a place where 2 losers seek each other out , almost naturally.
moving on.....
my stomach is taking on shapes that i never thought were possible! just when i feel like this is the maximum it can expand given my food and beverage intake...it surprises me. now it's not only rounded it's taken on a ellipse ish  kind of shape. it's nice as a bean bag for pups but really gets in the way of looking hot and smashing. The only thing that i'm smashin nowadays are pumpkins that i accidently step on!
(that was a joke)
get it?(smashing pumpkins) (the band?) (duh..)
The rate at which my shirt buttons pop out when i sit cud easily qualify me as the next king of pop!

i just realised that at the end of this post you might think of me as a fat friendless guy?????
NAHINNNNNNN

Don't read too much into this blog post ...i'm not writing to sell myself as a good and decent human being to be friends with, nor am i complaing about my sudden inexplicable weight gain.....i'm just killing time. And you. with soft movements of my fingers.
(another joke)
get it? ( as in killing you softly, with ma fingers)hahahahaha (2nd time duh..)
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Charan ...you are so talented..why don't you do something with your life?
But what can i do? ppl don't take me seriously.
why is that so?
I guess coz i come across as a spoilt lazy bum.
is that true?
well i am a lil spoilt...and quite lazy. But i'm definitely not a bum!
would you agree that you waste a lotta time?
No. Never!
ha ha ha ha.....can i solve any of your problems?
not really...
why the f$#k you talking to me then! Go do some work!

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PROVERB
Home is where the heart is......or so they say.
well according to me home is where you can scratch exactly where it itches & fart without looking around!
HENCE
for me home to me is where the fart is!

Eno anyone?