THE SWINE FLU BUT THE MONTH CRAWLED...

The month began with me sliding my semi nude carcass from one pool to another at The Park Hyatt, Goa and has ended on a rather slow note of boredom. But that's life people...sometimes there is sunshine and sometimes there is rain. Although this year the rains were more anticipated than the release of Harry potter and the half blood prince.
One disappointed the other did not.
Speaking of semi nude sliding fun filled weekend in goa...i'm reminded of how good i look nowadays without my shirt on. Goa, like any other beach town, is the kind of place that demands nudity. So i went with the flow. when i used to walk out of the pool it looked like a slow motion scene from a low budget south indian remake of dhoom. Lets call that remake Bloom!
for those of you who do not know me...i'm cribbing about how Fat i have become. I'm so fat that now i have to use twice the amount of water and body wash to have the same amount of bath.
Speaking of Fat i'm compelled to warn all you holiday goers...do NOT opt for the "inclusive of all meals" option! In the name of all meals they throw you in front of 21 dishes set in a line, all of which start looking the same after 2 meals. After three meals you start feeling like Truman...just a little fatter than in the movie. You start over doing each meal. Don't blame yourself coz you're only Human Truman! Greed is a curse of mankind. I wanna have a cheese omelette with brown bread please.... then you peep into other people's plates and that's it. You wanna try the waffles and the pancake and the dosa or the idli and the doughnut and the milkshake and top it up with coffee or tea. You're sweating but goin at it meal after meal cos the voices in your head tell you "it's okay coz you're on vacation...i'll work out a lil extra after getting back...i have already spent all my money to include all meals in my package....if i do not eat then what the f#@k do i do...."
that's it my fried YOU HAVE BEEN BUFFETED (to be pronounced as buffayed)
Once you leave the hotel and are on your way to the airport in their free airport transer vehicle...you will look down and see your belly jiggle a lil extra...that's a holiday well spent!



favourite scene of the day - from the movie Evolution:
(scene:before removing alien insect from colon via the rectum patient yells at doc )
" There is always time for lubricant!"
(after: nurse asks patient if he wants anything)
"yes i'd like some ice cream"
nurse : " what flavour would you like?"
patient : "does'nt matter...it's for my ass!"