Never Say Die(T)

Im back……..


Ive been taking keen interest in the general do’s and don’ts in the food department.

And I have to say it’s got me so confused that I feel like a Dalmatian in a polka dotted t-shirt running around in a black and white movie!

Errrr…..so anyways according to research (I love sounding like I read a lot;)

Milk is good for you. but dairy may not always be helpful. And excessive milk can also lead to some complications, although it helps relieve acidity. So if I drink too much whisky it gives me acidity and then if I wash it down with a glass of cold milk

It makes me fat….hmmm let me see I’d rather be skinny and acidic or feeling all nice and cool in my Fat chest???

I think I wanna remake doodh ka karz now…..

Okay moving on, greens are good. Everyone knows that. So it’s good roughage and I’m sure has a whole lotta other benefits. So I’ve started to eat salads….voraciously, might I add. But according to some research done somewhere it’s not advisable to eat raw vegetables for it may bring with it their share of trouble so there goes my salad plate on the very edge of my dinner table which, by the way looks forlorn since a week….grrrr

Then there are greats like mr. Atkins who suggested increasing protein intake and going very low on carbs, hmmn sounded good coz I would then have access to meat and cheese while on a diet! How great would that be, until the day when my cheesy meat stuffed bubble burst when my cousin developed gall stones due to excessive protein intake!

So we now go along to a well balanced diet with some exercise thrown in…hmmn sounds like an everlasting and highly successful plan! So we plan to eat at least 5 times a day….small meals ofcourse,(you there don’t go dialling a pizza just yet) it has to be 5 small healthy options like you know crap that ain’t got anything in store for you’re tongue. All your tongue is good for now is articulating words….screw that shit I ain’t talking much on an empty stomach anyways.

Well exercise is good but too much of it is bad. Walking is good but results are slow and may not be visible in your lifetime. Running is more effective but not good for your knees. Weight training is good but you need to eat a lot more after a work out which clashes with plan A.

carbs are required for proper digestion but avoidable after sunset! And I should tell you there are good carbs and then there are the bad carbs…..and don’t strain your brain too much, the bad ones are the ones you love!

Jab aadmi kha nahin sakta who peene ke bare mein sochta hai….

I took some solace in the fact that atleast I can enjoy an occasional scotch….but then again the great researchers suggested that according to their latest survey a drink a day is good for you, but not for Indians! Hahahahahahahhaha

That’s it I am cracking up now…..this is just too much.

If I think about my intestine my liver is hurt, if I look after the liver the pancreas and stomach lining are up in arms, the bones joints colon and heart are over sensitive to my gastronomical soujourns and my fat cells are like Mr. Smith, multiplying for no apparent reason!

So there I’ve said my bit…..i’m feeling much lighter I think I may even be ready for my 5th meal

BON APETIT!

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