Hic Hic Hoorayy

As a child I remember going to school…ya I’m sure I did.
It was like this white building, with long corridors, rooms full of benches with a blackboard….and a box of chalks. (I used to love writing with them…esp the coloured ones)….no don’t worry I’m not getting nostalgic on you. I have a point. (as always)
In this white building We were taught that man’s 1st invention was The wheel.
And then many years after that a man invented something that I believe surpasses all inventions ever invented. Alcohol!
I’ll call him Jack.
So Jack’s invention also like the wheel had the ability to turn things around or even set them rolling…occasionally.
It is the single most important part of those peoples lives who aren’t averse to the idea of consuming it. In fact I remember quite clearly a nursery rhyme that describes the importance of it. It goes like this:-


When you’re happy and you know it
HAVE A DRINK (clap clap)
When u’re happy & u knw it
HAVE ONE MORE (clap clap)
Wen ure happy n u knw it & u really wanna show it
DRINK FROM THE BOTTLE (clap Hic clap)

Ya ok I went to palm beach high.

But my point is that the after effects of Jack’s invention . although great, are different on different ppl.
I’ve seen many a drunk in my time.
Some of them are my best friends.
For instance Govinda (name changed) gets giggly and likes to dance with weird thrusts of the chest and pelvis. When sober he is quite uninteresting though.
And Tina (name changed) gets repetitive ( a la Big B in satte pe satta). She’s sweet so I listen…no wait I’m sweet so I listen.
Shanti (name changed) starts dancing to hindi item numbers. She dances with infectious energy.
Then there’s Tushar (name changed) who just can’t stop laughing…his eyes disappear at times.
One such observation happened last night at a friend’s Sangeet. One of my closest and dearest friends Monica (yes name changed) started to abuse me! For no apparent reason. In good fun ofcourse. But then the Tina syndrome set in! that’s it! I din’t know where to look! It’s like your cell phone hanging just when you’re about to delete an obscene image .
That’s when I had the observation …which is why I started writing this piece…and I want all 3 of you to learn from my experiences.
What I realised is that no matter how innocent a man maybe, there is nothing he can say or do that will make him look credible if a woman is abusing him…even if she’s laughing while doing so. It’s the 1st human instinct to believe the woman over the man!!! I was embarrassed and amused at the same time. Of course I din’t have the guts to turn around and look at my other friends- Govinda Tina Tushar and Shanti….what wud they think???!!!

Little did I know that they were happy and they knew it……HAVING A DRINK ! Hic.